I've been doing much needed journaling in...an actual journal. IT'S NOT A DIARY, its a journal
it feels good to just put my thoughts in a book, although im doing it physically instead of digitally. why? good questions, but i have not clue
i do like typing bc not only am I faster but my handwriting isn't known for it's legibility
because of this journal, I haven't had much motivation of writing here in a blog(even tho that's what it's for)
I'm starting to make another game, this time a bit less rushed. only problem is, im making it from scratch which... complicates the process....a lot. IDK what's my fascination with making shit from scratch all the god-dammed time, bragging right IG.
how do i see the future? very uncertain. I dont feel happy not do i feels overly sad. i have been having a lot of negative feelings like anger, exhaustion, sadness, anxiety,etc.
people often say tho that after sadness, there must be happiness, but law of equivalent exchange tho, says that the opposite is true so after all happiness, there must be sadness but this way of thinking can be very depressing tho, IDK.
i might be moving out soon so there's that.
for the first time in a while i found someone that i can chat for hours and enjoy it which i really needed.
still am not a big fan of my job but also haven't been looking for alternatives
where do i genuinely see myself in 2 years? as morbid as it is to say, probably dead, or at least very drugged up.
I'm just not enjoying life all that much, people tell me that I have so much to be excited for, that my life has just started and i hope they are right.
i AM trying to change stuff, I'm trying to be happy but it's slow, most progress is, IG we'll see what the future holds for me
any(many)ways, sorry but the kinda depressive mood