as per the request of a dear friend @precipitation24 who prefers I share some of my spanish observations with the public, I have decided to translate a classic cartoon that many hispanic people have at least heard of

there is a popular cartoon about anthropomorphic eggs who are very crude and often offensive called "huevocartoon" what a shock lol.

there are many reoccurring characters, the two I will be talking about are "los huevos rancheros" or "the cowboy eggs" huvos racheros is also the name for an egg based dish too, it's a pun, and as I'll demonstrate, puns are the main part of the humor in this cartoon.

the name of this particular segment is called "a date in the barn"

the Idea of this it that they are gay for each other but have to dance around instead of admitting it outright

compadre! (comrade, pardner, I will use "pardner" for the rest of the translation)

[partner is the correct spelling but it has the tone of cowboys, as in "howdy pardner"]

dígame compadre (what is it pardner)

le puedo hablar al chile (can I be serious for a second )

["al chile" or "on pepper" means truthfully or seriously HOWEVER, it can also be interpreted as "penis" due to it's phallic nature, so it can be interpreted as "either can I talk(suck) to your dick" or vice verse]

ah, como no compadre (oh~ of course~ )

'perece compadre pos' que trae (wait a sec' pardner was' going on with you?)

[pos' is the short version/ slang of "pues" which can mean different things depending on context such as "because" , "well" , "then", in this case, it's "well" as in the direct translation of "pues que trae" being "well what do you have" but that doesn't make much sense in english so I chose the closest one of "what going on with you?"]

no no no, nada compadre nomás me acerque tantito, no fuera que nos va a escuchar algún

metiche ve'a (no no no nothing pardner, I was just getting closer, we dont want someone nosey to hear is righ' ?)

[ve'a is slang of "verdad", "truth", or "right"]

ah no pues siendo así pos 'tá bueno (ah, no, that makes sense, all's good)

['ta short for "esta", "it's"]

pos dígame pues (so, what were you going to tell me?)

pos esto que le voy a decir me cuesta trabajo, voy a tenerle confianza (well, what I'm about to tell you takes a lot of strength, I'm going to trust you with this)

pues la verdad que se lo agradezco mucho compadre (truthfully, I'm very honored/ thankful for that pardner)

de nada (sure thing)

por eso somos compadres para hablarnos con confianza, gracias en serio (that's why we're pardners, to talk each other with trust, seriously, thank you)

pos sí compadre (sure thing pardner)

gracias por el cariño compadre (thanks for the affection, pardner)

EH? (WHA-?)

por la amistad compadre, gracias por por por estos brasotes tán fuertes y viriles compadre, qué fuerte está usted (I mean, for the friendship pardner, for for for those arms, so strong and vigorous pardner, you're so strong)

si verdad, es que he estado jalando últimamente muy duro compadre (right? well, I have been pulling them really hard pardner)

["jalar" means to pull, but it also means to jerk off, so it can be interpreted as "i have been jerking off real nice"]

si, me acuerdo, me acuerdo (oh yes~ I remember, I remember)

me-me refiero hacer ejercicio compadre (I'm talking about exercise pardner )

ah no, pos yo digo también me refiero a eso verdad? a las pesas (oh, right, I also mean that, lifting weights)

bueno pues déjeme darle un trago a tequila y usted también chupe le que para eso somos machos (well then, let me take a shot, you also take a shot, we're manly for a reason)

[chupar- literally means to "suck" but in this case, it means to drink alcohol,Howerver, it can ALSO mean to suck dick]

si senor como no, somos machos y le chupamos rete duro (that's right, we're super many and we drink a lot)

[a bit to unpack, firstly, my translation is the non-lewd translation, but of course from context of my previous translations, we get to how it can be misunderstood.

duro- means "hard" but in this cases, it means "good", as in "we are good at drinking" or to go all out as in "we go all out when drinking"

rete- is an intensifier like "super"

so all together, it would mean something like "we are super good at drinking booze" BUT, since chupar can mean something lewd, it can be interpreted as " we suck dick really good"]

ahora sí compadre tengo algo harto importante que preguntar le (ok, now, I have something important to ask you)

pregunté sin miedo compadre (ask away, pardner)

de macho a macho (from one man to another)

de macho a macho pues (of course, form one man to another)

pues usted sabe como me gusta lencha ? (well, you know how much I love Lencha?)

[Lencha is his wife, but it sound like "la ancha" which means "girthy"]

no está tan ancha compadre (mine's not that girthy pardner)

no sé alburero qué me encánijo compadre, la lencha no la ancha (don't be a smartass because I'll get angry, Lencha, not "girthy")

[I translated "alburero" as smart ass because there isn't REALLY a word for this in English. the Idea of an albur is that of word play and twisting words for fun by making sexual innuendos and double entendre, someone who does this often is know as an alburero but since this isn't AS big of a thing in English, I think that the closest equivalence is "smartass"]

ahh pues fue un chascarillo compadre no más para romper el hielo y que pue no se, se le haga más fácil decir las cosas pero no se me enoje conmigo que se me pone rojo (ahh, chill out, it was just a funny remark just to break the ice so that you feel more comfortable telling me what you're going to say; don't get angry because it turns red)

[se me pone rojo is another packed sentence.

ponerse rojo- to turn red, to get angry, to blush, OR to get horny/an erection. that one is easy enough

"se me" this one tricky because its so neutral that it's missing clarification that can be disambiguated in two ways

• (USTED) se me pone rojo (YOU get red)
• (a mi)se me pone rojo ("I" get red)
• (a third OBJECT [penis] gets "red")

so the missing pronoun and the double entendre means that it can be interpreted a few ways

1. you get angry
2. you get horny
3. you blush
4. I get angy
5. I get horny
6. I blush]

y cómo quiere que me ponga compadre? (How else am I supposed to be pardner?)

[he interpreted as the first one ]

no, usted no, digo que se me pone rojo a mí, de la calentura compadre (no, not you pardner, I'm saying that "I" turn red... from the heat~)

[he meant it as the fifth one]

oiga me compadre pues eso están muy joto- (hey now pardner, this is getting really gay-)

el cascarón compadre, que se me pone rojo el cascarón de la calentura por el coraje que me da hacerlo a usted enojar por eso mejor le cuento chistes (MY SHELL pardner, my shell gets red, from the heat of anger that I get from making you angry, that's why I tell jokes)

[he walks it back to the 6th or fourth]

a no pues entonces gracias, y compadre discúlpeme si no le entedi (ahh, well then, thank you, and pardner, forgive me for misunderstanding you)

lo disculpo pues pero... pero con una condición (I'll forgive you, well, under one condition)

ohhh ya me va a poner condiciones (ohh, now you're gonna give me conditions)

si quiere que lo escuche pos' si (if you want me to hear you our, then yes)

'tá bueno pues la que quiera compadre usted nomás diga rana y yo brinco (well then, whatever you want pardner, tell me jump and I'll ask how high)

[the direct translation is "say frog, and I'll jump"]

y si digo chivito se me pone ahí.. (and if I say billygoat, will you...)

[im not to sure what this is since I'm not familiar with the saying, there's a second part that wasn't said but I'm not sure of what was implied, my best guess is that the rest of the sentence is "se me pone ahi el cuernito" which means "you'll give me you horn" (horn = penis)... I think]

bueno ya estuvo bueno de jotería (I've had enough of this faggotry)

no compadre dijo que si le digo chivo se me pone hay unos cuernos de la frente (noo pardner, I mean, If I say billygoat, will you put on some horns on your head)

[I think this was a way to walk it back but it sounds like he's calling the other guy a cuck.

the word "cabron" means adult goat but it has the connotation of being stubborn which has the meaning of being to stubborn to admit a secret affair, being in denial of getting cucked, so when someone "gives you the horns" they're calling you a cuck

either way, walking back from the statement, feels a little awkward]

bueno de que rayos está hablando usted cuál es la condición para que me escuche (what the hell are you on about, what is your condition so that you'll listen to me?)

que me hable con la verdad, con la puritita verdad y nomás (that you tell me the truth and only the truth)

'tá bueno, se la voy a dejar ir derecha (ok, i'll give it to you straight)

["it" being the truth but interpreted as dick

'ta- short form of "esta" or "it is"]

ya se habia tardado compadre (about time pardner~)

la verdad compadre! le voy a dejar ir derecha la verdad (THE TRUTH pardner, I'll give you the straight truth)

*ahem* a eso me refería así que soy todo oido después (*ahem* that's what I was refering to, that's why I'm all ears)

la verdad, es que creo que la lencha me engaña, pero con usted compadre (the truth is that I think that Lencha is cheating on me, but with you pardner)

no la chinfle que es cantada compadre de dónde saca semejante tontería (say it don't spray it pardner, where did you get such a foolish thought)

[chinfle- to wistle

cantar- to sing

"don't whistle it, you're supposed to sing it" meaning "say it don't spray it

tonto- fool

-ria pertaining to

tonteria- pertaining to foolishness, a foolish thing/ idea/ thought]

pos es que el otro día compadre, estabamos pos, pos usted ya sabe, allí en lo oscurito en el momento bonito en el momento íntimo pues (well, the other day pardner, we were, well you know, there, in the dark, in a good moment, an intimate moment)

ay, ya se me antojo (oh~ im craving it~)

compadre ya se le antojo que? (craving what pardner)

el tragooooo, es ya se me acabó el mío (a driiink, my glass is empty)

a pos sirvase otro baboso (well, serve yourself another, dummy)

[baba- drool

baboso- someone who drools because of stupidity,

I guess it would be similar to calling someone "retard" but it's not strong, it's one of the weakest insults]

a pos' si ve'a (oh, you're right)

ay wey, esta pegador bueno ya sígala compadre no voy a dejar picado (oh, fuck, hits hard, well, c'mon, continue, don't leave me hanging)

pos resulta mira que la lencha se portó rarita como muy jugosa y ella no es así, seguramente aprendió con alguien más y pos' pos' yo no la dejó salir con nadie, ni que le hable a nadie, ni tiene amigos ni nada. el único huevo al que le habla es a usted compadre (well, as it turns out, Lencha was behaiving weird, like really saucy, and she's not like that so surely she learned it from someone else, and well,well, I don't let her leave the house, I don't let her talk to anyone else, she doesn't have any friends or anything. The only othe egg that she talk to is you pardner)

yo sería incapaz de tocar la compadre no me ofenda a ver cuénteme pues que le hizo (I would be incapable of touching her, please don't offend me like that, well, what did she even do?)

pues mire es la verdad, primero me agarró la mano (well, the truth is that she first grabbed my hand)

así? (like this?)

ay justito asi compadre (ohh~ just like that pardner)

y luego? (and then?)

luego puso mi mano en su alga (then she put my hand on her ass)

como? así? (how? like this)

AHHHaa así mero compare luego la apreto (ahh~ just like that pardner, then she squeezed it)

así compadre? (like this pardner?)

AAAYYY como que está haciendo compadre (uahh~ what are you doing pardner?)

como que estoy entendiendo lo que me dice compadre aguantese, que no el macho (I'm trying to visualize what you're telling me, don't wuss out , aren't you manly)

no! sí! muy macho muy muy macho compadre (oh yes, very very manly pardner)

bueno y luego que él hizo? (well then, what did she do after)

pues luego la muy sinvergüenza me besó el cascarónsitó (well, she, the shameless, kissed my shell)

así? (like this?)

no un poquito más despacio (no, a little bit slower)

ah entonces así? (ahh, so like this?)

andele compadre asi mero (yuup, just like that pardner)

y también se puso chinito compadre (and did you also get goosebumps pardner?)

un poquito menos pero sí chinito chinito compadre (a little bit less than now but yes, I got goosebumps)

y luego (and then?)

no compadre es que la verdad ya no puedo seguir (no pardner, in all honesty, I can't continue)

como rechinaco no dígame en qué paró todo éste argüende (why the heck not, tell me how this whole debacle ended)

[rechinaco - I have no clue what this translates to but it serves as a substitute to avoid cursing. the rude way would be "como chingados no", similar to saying frick or heck]

pos 'que me tira contra la paja (ok, well, she threw me onto the straw pile)

...contra de la paja compadre? (... the straw pile pardner?)

pos si es que estábamos en el granero (yeah, we were in the barn)

ah, en el granero? y vioo vien a la lencha (oh, in the barn? a-and did you get a good look at Lencha?)

no estaba reteoscurote (no, it was pitch black)

[rete- like i said before, it's like "super" or "mega"

oscuro - dark

-ote makes something big

"the super huge darkness" - "pitch black"]

ah bueno (ah, very well)

y pos' tube una noche pues a todo dar, me hizo cosas que no sabían que se podían hacer, que antes no me hacía, por eso pienso que me engañó con usted compadre (and well, I had a great night, she did things that I din't know were possible, things she never did to me, that's why I think she cheated on my with you pardner)

no compadre, no compadre no es así, pues tengo algo que confesarle yo también (no pardner, no pardner, it's not like that, I have to tell you something)

de cebuche compadre (lay it on me)

[I actually have never heard this saying but based on context clues, I gave it a guess]

yo a noche fui al granero a dar una vuelta (last night, I want to the barn to walk around)

ahh... o sea que la perversa no era la lencha (ahhh, sooo, Lencha wasn't the perverted one?)

no compadre la lencha es una santa y sólo tiene ojos pa' usted (no pardner, Lencha is a saint and only has eyes for you)

ay compadre no sabe qué alivio y yo pensando que usted le había enseñado todas esas cochinadas (ahh, pardner, you have no Idea how relieved I am, and here I thought that you taught her to do all those nasty things)

no compadre los machos de verdad no hacemos esas cochinadotas tan feas que hicieron (no, pardner, real gentlemen like us don't do those horrible nasty things they did to you)

pos' eso si, ya decía yo que eso no es de machos, pos salud entonces por nuestra lealtad y porque somos muy machos (that's right, I was just thinking about how thats not what gentlemen do... well cheers to out loyalty and because we're manly)

eso! compadre salud (that's right pardner, cheers)

salud compadre (cheers pardner)

que bonito brinda usted comparte (you cheer so gracefully pardner)

eso! oiga compadre? (that's right, hey pardner?)

digame compadre (what is it pardner?)

de pura casualidad hoy en la noche no tendrá que ir al granero compadre? (don't you have to go the the barn tonight pardner)

y si, yo creo que sí (that's right, I think I do)

ah pues tons' ahí...ahí nos vemos (ahh, well, I guess... I'll see you [there])

ahí nos vemos pues (see you [there])

andele (alrighty)

one more translation note, "Lencha" is referred to as "LA" lencha, this is because that's not the name of his wife but rather a way of saying THE woman of the house, or another way of saying "my girl" or "my wife" but since lencha sounds like a name already I just used it as if it WAS her name

I tried to keep the translation as short as I could but there was so much wordplay that it was hard for me to explain it any more efficiently

hope you learned something